Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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