it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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