I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
