mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
