You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I love you. Go after that dick
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
