I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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