and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
