he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
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