It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
