My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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