and my herpes radar will keep us safe
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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