So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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