Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
