The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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