Fuck appropriateness.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Hello my rib-scented angel!
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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