I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
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Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
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i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize