oh god the rape fog is back!
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
