We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
