I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize