living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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