She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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