I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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