remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
