Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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