i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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