Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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