She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
My vagina is very pro this idea
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
