my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
