is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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