Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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