your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
