My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
