Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
