So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
