I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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