If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
