Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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