i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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