I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
