Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
