What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Randomize
