thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
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