She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
