Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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