It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
