i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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