yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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