is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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