i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
