I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
