dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
