If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
