hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
