I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
