I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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