I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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