Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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