:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
you will always have a special place in my vag
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
