you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
