I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
