Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
