none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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