Well apparently he's into motor boating.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
